we have pet lesbian snakes
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
