What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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