p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
