Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
