i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
