i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
