I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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