In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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