blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
nutella sex= disaster
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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