Yo dont text me then not text me
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
