I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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