i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
