Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
a search helicopter?!
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
