haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
