the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He shit in the fireplace
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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