Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
