Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
