My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
is wine microwaveable?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
