Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
