I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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