thus making me awesome and them whores
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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