Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
