I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
