How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
