btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
