brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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