I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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