I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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