dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
