oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
