It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
