So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Actions speak louder than pants.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
