Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
