goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My penis needs a shock collar
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
