She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We don't watch enough power rangers
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
