If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm really busy with my period
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