pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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