On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
