I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
