This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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