THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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