...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
