yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
