Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
