and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
