I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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