Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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