Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
