so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We left an ass print on the piano.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
