guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
